


As a goodbye

by Illidria



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Buccaneer's death, Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, F/M, LLF Comment Project
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-30
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2019-03-11 14:08:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13525899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Illidria/pseuds/Illidria
Summary: There was no trouble finding him, he had always been too big to be overlooked. And if that hadn’t been enough, he’d been loud.He wasn’t anymore.





	As a goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> A wish-fic for tumblrs lovely Juliaepevic :D  
> This was written some time ago, but I'm slowly moving stuff to the Archive^^

It was only when everybody was freed from the rubble, when every missing person was found, that she wanted to be taken to his corpse.

When someone was quick to remind her that she should have her injuries looked at first, the person in question was given a murderous glance by her and afterwards a few harsh words from every Briggs Bear that heard.

Her way to the morgue was interrupted several times still, by questions from soldiers, orders that needed to be given out, or just to let an ambulance pass. It seemed incredibly long to him and barely he could imagine what it had to feel like for her. He’d seen her reaction upon the news of his death, had instantly understood what had just happened. What she’d just lost.

To walk through a city, parts of it now only rubble, the eyes of her men following her when she walked by. Covertly, trying not to be obvious, to not further hurt their Queen by being caught slaking off. And yet, those that knew understood where she was going, what she was about to do. And seeing that this was his sister, she was aware of the looks following her.

It was like walking past a silent guard of honour, all the man visibly supressing the salute. And in the middle: his sister. Still standing tall, numerous wounds littering her body, several bones broken. Steps even and forceful, like they’d always been. He did not know where she took the strength from.

To walk so quickly still.

To keep her head on her shoulders, to give out orders and keep an eye on the grand scheme of things.

To not just break down, weep and cry and scream.

When arriving at her destination, she constituted the privacy she needed with a few sharp orders and her free hand resting on the hilt of her sword. And when everybody had filed out, he nodded in her direction and closed the door behind him.

He would wait until she was ready, would make sure that she had all the time she needed.

* * *

There was no trouble finding him, he had always been too big to be overlooked. And if that hadn’t been enough, he’d been loud.

He wasn’t anymore.

She’d taken the way as a chance to think about him, the man that had been William Buccaneer.

He’d screamed when attacking the new cubs on their way up the mountain, a tradition as old as Briggs. Had hated her guts for cutting off some of his hair back then, later for being a higher rank than him, an insufferable boss, an overbred bitch who acted all high and mighty. His words, not hers.

Had shown grandeur, when he later apologized for his words. Had shown appreciation at his life having been saved and that of his comrades too. He’d have done anything for them, fought bears bare handed, Drachmans with a pistol and had carried four injured soldiers back to the wall, several miles through deep snow, on four different occasions. He’d broken his bones for others, lost an arm, a kidney and four toes.

His life.

They’d become friends and after many years, they’d become lovers too. He touched her incredibly gently, even though he knew that she was tough. Always tried to make her laugh, never stingy with compliments. They were all honest too and he never ceased, even though she brushed them of so often, so rarely taking the time to appreciate his words.

He’d been the kindest man she knew.

He’d kept out an eye for Miles in the man’s first months at the wall. Took the time to get to know new cubs, could list of all the names of their spouses, children and siblings, in some cases even parents and grandparents. Covered shifts if needed, made sure everybody ate and drank enough. Had often helped the Doc with unreasonable patients, simply by sitting in the doorway and taking away any chance of escape.

She’d lost count of how many times he’d done that for her, after only a handful of years not sitting at the door anymore, but by her side. Letting her get to know the man he was behind closed doors.

Reading glasses at the bedside table and books nicked from Miles vast collection. Automail-catalogues, pages marked by paperclips. Walking in the middle of the Wall not because he was an easy target, but because of the edge having his fear rise. Late-night training sessions, brutal sparring matches. Laughter of all kinds, be it induced by deliberate jokes or something she’d done that he thought to be hilarious.

Of fingers, metal and skin alike, dancing over her skin and gentle words whispered into her ear. Of promises made, sincerely, like you only could in the night. A future, together.

She’d almost smiled when arriving at the morgue and hated herself for it.

His skin was cold where she touched it, all of his warmth already gone.

Searched for the wound, gently, her hand only brushing the skin over his heart for the shortest of moments, in vain hoping for a beat. Looked at the grisly thing. He’d gone down fighting, a smile on his face.

Staring at it for a long time, she tried to burn the image into her memory. Wanted to feel as peaceful as he looked.

She couldn’t.

Leaning forward, ignoring her throbbing heart, the lump in her throat, she first pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“You did not go gentle, my love.”

The words were filled with pride and tears, rolling down her face and falling from her chin.

Took another moment to consider his face, to consider the gnawing feeling of despair, before she whispered to him for the last time.

“Someday, I’ll see your smile again. Goodbye.”

She pressed a last kiss to his cold lips and straightened. Gently covered him in the white sheet again. Wiped her face and breathed deeply.

And then she excited the morgue at a controlled pace.

**Author's Note:**

> This story is part of [LLF Comment Project](https://longlivefeedback.tumblr.com/llfcommentproject), whose goal is to improve communication between readers and authors. I invite you to leave:
> 
> _Short comments_   
>  _Long comments_   
>  _Questions_   
>  _Constructive criticism_   
>  _Reader-reader interaction_
> 
> I reply to every comment, though it sometimes takes me a day, or two.
> 
> I thank you for reading this fic of mine through to the end. I appreciate all comments and kudos and should you want to get into direct contact with me [this is my tumblr](http://illidria.tumblr.com/)


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